submitted by Bench
Cleveland, Ohio. August 22-24, 2014
The Astros head to Cleveland after taking the Northeast’s medialiths Red Sox and Yankess down a notch, winning a combined four out of seven from the marquee teams of MLB. The Astros end up taking four out of six on the season series against the Yanks, which according to my friends and family in The City have caused Bronx Nation to officially give up on the season. Other than the wins, my favorite story of the road trip was Keuchel inviting the host parents he stayed with for two summers in the Cape Cod League to attend the game he pitched on Friday.
The Astros have been on an offensive tear until running into the rejuvenated Brandon McCarthy on Thursday, who shut out the team who had been leading the league in runs scored since July 1. Fortunately the good guys will miss squaring off against Tribe ace Corey Kluber, who has come out of nowhere this year to vie for the Cy Young award.
I’ve never been to Cleveland, and see no reasonable reason why I ever will. Perhaps work will bring me to the shores of the Cuyohoga but that would be the only reason. But the city, and the Indians, hold a special place in my heart simply because of Major League. Major League and The Naked Gun were the formative comedies of my youth that I actually saw in movie theaters with a crowd rather than at home on the VCR when I thought my parents didn’t realize I was watching Airplane! or Caddyshack. I was 11 years old when Major League hit the theatres, and it was the first cuss and sex filled movie I ever saw in the movie theatres and could laugh along with the crowd. It also happens to be one of the funniest baseball movies ever made and holds up well even to this day. When it appeared on TV my brother and I recorded it and fucking wore out that VCR tape watching it over and over. I particularly love all the ridiculous overdubbing of the cursing in the TV version, and my brother and I will still tell each other to “strike this [GUUUUYYY] out!” during the final scene when Roger Dorn confronts the wild thing.
I owned the cassette of the movie soundtrack because I was that kind of kid whose primary relationship to music was always through some other medium. As a middle schooler I wore out the soundtracks to Major League and The Lost Boys. I credit those soundtrack with sparking my appreciation of Randy Newman, Roy Orbison and The Doors. I guess David Lynch sealed my love of Roy Orbison years later in Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive, but it all started with Major League.
Oddly enough there is an original alternate ending to the movie where it is revealed that Rachel Phelps never wanted to move the Indians to Miami, but according to Wikipedia invented “the Miami scheme and adopted a catty, vindictive persona to unify and motivate the team. As the players believed that she wanted the Indians to fail, she was able to conceal that the team could not afford basic amenities such as chartered jet travel behind a veil of taking them away to spite the players.” I’m glad they changed the ending to make her a pure villain because that is fucking stupid.
Ah Cleveland, city of lights. City of magic. It took me years to realize that Cleveland wasn’t some wondrous land of mystical possibilities but that Newman was making fun of the fact that they managed to set their river on fire.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Progressive (nee Jacobs) Field
6:05 CT
Brad Peacock (3-8 5.47 ERA)
Peacock’s best asset is his name. He’s 0-3 with a 10.80 ERA and a 2.35 WHIP in his last five starts, is coming off a no-decision Saturday in the team’s 10-7 loss to Boston. He allowed six runs (five earned), seven hits and two walks in 4 1/3 innings.
Carlos Carrasco (5-4 3.27 ERA)
Carrasco is making his third straight start since moving to the rotation from the bullpen. He’s thrown shutout ball in his last two starts over 12 innings notching a pair of wins in the process, allowing only five hits along the way.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Progressive (nee Jacobs) Field
6:05 CT
Collin McHugh (6-9 3.00 ERA)
After a mid-season blip, Collin McFuckingHuge has settled back in to the form he showed beginning with his spot start for Feldman in Seattle back in April. He still has the best starter’s ERA on the team and has allowed exactly one run in each of his last four starts (four total in 25 1/3 innings).
Danny Salazar (4-6 4.79)
After blowing away the league in his call up season, Salazar has had an up and down season. As in, he’s been sent down to the minors and called up on multiple occasions. His most recent major league campaign has been pretty respectable, going 3-2 with a 3.67 ERA and 26 strikeouts in 27 innings over his last five starts.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Progressive (nee Jacobs) Field
6:05 CT
Brett Oberholtzer (4-8 4.01 ERA)
Oberholtzer has really settled in during his current stint in the rotation. Prior to Tuesday’s game in the Bronx, Brett pitched 11 consecutive outings of at least six innings each. In the last six of that run, he was 2-1 with a 2.63 ERA. The team is 6-1 in his last seven starts.
Trevor Bauer (4-7 4.41 ERA)
Despite the fact that Pedro Serrano went on to much greater fame as President David Palmer, Trevor ain’t fucking Jack. Hopefully the good guys can get to him early as he has a 5.68 ERA in the first inning this year.
Injuries, there are a few. Qualls has been sidelined with a stiff back, but should be ready for this series. Jessie Crain was nice enough to join the team in NYC because he is drawing a paycheck after all. Springer went to Boston to see some of his Connecticut family.
Cleveland facts:
Cleveland is home to the first ever traffic light.
Native sons include Jesse Owens, Langston Hughes, Don King and Arsenio Hall. And Drew Carey, I guess.
Cleveland hasn’t won a major sports championship since the Browns won the NFL title in 1964.
Would you like to pet a real police horse?
Good guys manage to avoid a sweep.